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Feeling Like an Orphan, But I’m Not

by Dennae Pierre Published Apr 7, 2011

The beautiful thing about adoption is that it is permanent. Unchangeable. Forever. It has nothing to do with the child’s behavior, abilities, perceptions, strengths, weaknesses. It has EVERYTHING to do with the parent.

A majority of the time, our children fully embrace the reality of being our son and daughter. They have consumed our family identity and in countless funny ways show us that they are “Pierres.” I often hear Marcel explain that he loves to read because “I’m a Pierre and Pierres love to read!” Or Mya explain why she doesn’t give up as, “Pierre Women keep trying!” But there are moments, here and there, where they think back about their past and wonder, worry, imagine… They are still sorting out what it means in light of who they are now and who they will be in 5, 15, 30 years.

But what is so wonderful about adoption is that it does not matter who they identify themselves to be, because they ARE Pierres. They could be night and day different from us. They could look completely different. They could act in ways that brought “shame” to our family name. They could wish that Daddy Warbucks would have adopted them instead. They could be angry with us and not trust us. It does not change their status as our children.

When I see in very real ways how Marcel and Mya have so quickly accepted their new identity, I am reminded how slower I am at the game.  I am reminded that being God’s child has nothing to do with me, my actions, or my feelings.

Days like today, I don’t “feel” like a child of God. There are those times when my devotion and love for God is all consuming of my heart, thoughts, and actions. It is like living in a vividly colorful garden after growing up in a brown desert. I can barely contain my joy for the living God who has rescued me, saved me, and made me his daughter.

And then there are days like today…

Normal.

I have to remind myself, minute by minute, that life is eternal and the temporal world around me is quickly fading and passing away. I have to take my thoughts captive, reminding myself who I am and who I belong to! I have to take the time to really examine why I am doing, saying, and thinking in ways that are completely foolish in light of what Christ did on the cross for me!

And somehow, in those “normal” days, is when I am most reminded that I am adopted, loved, rescued, saved, cherished, nourished, cared for, protected by my Living God. My Savior. My King.

Thank you Lord, for never finding it “hard” to love me when I fail to love you! May we do the same to the children you’ve entrusted us to!

  • http://momversuswild.net Tracie

    I love this! Thank you for being real!

  • http://Website Dennis

    Beautiful. BTW, this applies to adoptive grandpas too. :)


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